[personal profile] ichibandasai

Until when will this agony last?
Until when do I have to tolerate this torture when I have not harmed anyone?
The more you make me suffer, the more I am attracted to you
You keep hurting me, but I never complain
Just treat me fairly for once.

Why do people fail us so hard...

....When we are the ones with the hearts of gold?

...It seems as though all around me many of my friends are suffering from broken hearts...fickle, false-hearted friends and just...terrible people in general. >_>;

...Is there a reason this is happening all at the same time? To us, of all people?

We are the 'nice' ones...the 'kind', 'compassionate' types...and not to mention, the 'doormats'. We live to make our precious persons happy... So it is no surprise that we are generally mistrusting at first, taking a grand time to open our hearts to the prospect of a new relationship, platonic or otherwise. But when we finally get to open our hearts, we love fiercely.

...And then all of a sudden, seemingly overnight...our precious persons turn on us somehow. An abrupt, unforeseen change of the tide. We have no idea why. We have done nothing to deserve it. Without warning, they become obdurate and cold. No matter how much love and understanding we give, we end up receiving the short end of the stick. We give an unending amount of self-sacrifice to make the person happy...hoping that by showing love, we can inspire them to do the same. It is what we do for the people we hold dear, in order to maintain the peace, and we cross our fingers to hope for the better. We continue to debase ourselves to appease to them, even when they are not deserving, simply because we are terrified at the prospect of losing them forever again. In the end, we give a ton only to receive an ounce. Sometimes we blame ourselves, then to realize that we were not at fault at all. We adhere to the Japanese virtue of putting the desires of others before your own, but we never realize that we are actually devaluing ourselves until after.

...And the worst thing is...no matter what you say, or what you wish to say to make them understand...more than likely, they never will understand....Or even care. It is perhaps what hurts the most.

...No matter how much energy we expend to fix and reclaim what we desire and fix loose ends...

...we fail, just to realize that what we were holding on to was never there in the first place.

...When they said that 'Nice Guys finish last', they really were not kidding, were they? XD

Mell. I am so sorry about all of this, my love...I will be there for you soon...I love you.

*Nice Guy Pose* ^_^b ...It's a promise!


seasonal friend

"People come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime.
When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed outwardly or inwardly. Theyhave come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you withguidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally, orspiritually.

Theymay seem like a godsend, and they are. They are there for the reasonyou need them to be. Then, without any wrong doing on your part or atan inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring therelationship to an end.
Sometimesthey die. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up or out toforce you to take a stand. What we must realize is that our need hasbeen met, our desire fulfilled; their work is done.
It is now time to move on.

When people come into your life for a SEASON,it is because your turn has come to share, grow, or learn. They maybring you an experience of peace or make you laugh. They may teach yousomething you have never done. They usually give you an un- believableamount of joy. Believe it! It is real!
But only for a season.

LIFETIMErelationships teach you lifetime lessons; those things you must buildupon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is toaccept the lesson, love the person/people (anyway); and put what youhave learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life.It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant. "


...Lawl. That fails to make me feel better. XD Thanks, Jess. ^_^b

Why is there a picture of a chair?

Date: 2008-03-18 05:45 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mellacious.livejournal.com
I'm beginning to think you're taking this harder than I am. XD

Thank you my dear. I joke now, but I was in a really bad way earlier, and you helped hold me together. I know I'm going to have some bad patches in the coming days, but I know you'll be there to pick me up when I'm down. I love you more than words can say.

I've cried a lot tonight. Thank you so much for giving me tears of joy to offset the sorrowed ones. ♥

Date: 2008-03-18 06:02 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] theflamingrose.livejournal.com

I probably am...And I have cried for you. XD If there was a way to help ease the burden of shedding so many tears, I would take some of the pressure from you.

...Some people really fail us hard. XD But as for me...I guess it helps me realize that i should put more focus on those who bend their backs for me than to bend my back for those who are not worth it. >_>;

...We all need to get together one week day and just...have fun. And collect pictures of the people who fail us..and throw darts at them while eating ice cream. XD;

Date: 2008-03-19 01:07 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mozarteffect.livejournal.com
...I suck. Seriously. It seems like when I get cheerful, all of a sudden my flist goes down a slippery slope. D: I need to go back to being mopey so everyone can be happy again!!

And there is a chair pictured there because it's armchair psychology. ...:D? *SHOT*

Date: 2008-03-19 01:27 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] theflamingrose.livejournal.com
NUNUNUNUNU T_T Don't sink too! We need someone to help us keep afloat! Pease provide everyone with happy? =D

Date: 2008-03-19 02:04 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mozarteffect.livejournal.com
But it's a vicious cycle! I'm mopey and cynical, everyone's happy and "lol dun't worree, I'm happy and "lol dun't worree ◕ ◡ ◕~
♥~" and everyone's "grargh!! DX"

COINCIDENCE? I think not!

Date: 2008-03-19 03:05 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] theflamingrose.livejournal.com

A-And...please don't become mopey again! It'll just make things worse!

Date: 2008-03-19 03:19 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mozarteffect.livejournal.com
\( ゚ ヮ゚)7!! I WILL DO MY BEST!

Date: 2008-03-19 01:55 am (UTC)
infiniteviking: A chicken staring in disbelief. (1)
From: [personal profile] infiniteviking
*hugs* T_T

Maybe this is the moment for a heavenly sign that all doormats should rise up and let the light of their humble industry stagger their unworthy oppressors?

I wish I could just say something fantastically inspiring and wipe all your tears away... but at any rate, I'm here for you. This too will pass and life will be shiny again.

Date: 2008-03-19 02:58 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] theflamingrose.livejournal.com
Gai-senseeiii ;_; *curls up into*...I concur. XD All us doormats should rise up against our oppressors and throws darts at them ksadhsdh nvm I was not saying anything. XD;

And geez....why must things bother me so, so much more than it really should? Why can't I just let go of some things...even though the worry is clearly not worth it? WHY DO WE BEAT OURSELVES UP?!

Date: 2008-03-19 03:34 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] proudgreenauror.livejournal.com
T___T *see icon* *NICE GAI POSE*

I've wondered that too... Sometimes, bafflingly, stupid stuff happens and it's not our fault and there's nothing we can do to be the hero and fix it, and it's just aaagh. And some situations are unhealthy for us and we know it, but cling to them because of a sense of loyalty and spend our lives headdesking because they don't change for our sake WHICH THEY TOTALLY SHOULD >DDD or because we think if we grovel enough everyone else will be happy again and we can relax. Which isn't true.

And it's nasty and complicated. ;_; But it hurts because you care so deeply about what's happening around you. Sometimes, as much as it hurts, you have to take a step back and not let it be the end of the world. You can be stronger than that; your life is more than the current circumstances, and standing up to them will accomplish more in the long run than causing yourself extra harm.

Date: 2008-03-20 05:03 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] theflamingrose.livejournal.com
*EYES WIDEN AT SENSEI'S SAGE WORDS* THEY SO SHOULD. IT'S NOT FAIR T_T It sometimes feel as if the universe is not intending to teach us a lesson, but it's trying to play cruel jokes on us. *shakes fist*

...I know it isn't the end of the world...but to sacrifice so much, and to put so effort to salvage something and have it fall through is so heartbreaking ;_; *Thinks about all that lost artwork T_T*

....I wish I didn't have to care so much. >>; THAT'S WHY MEDITATION CAMP IS A NEED?! XDb

Date: 2008-03-20 08:53 pm (UTC)
infiniteviking: A bird with wings raised in excitement. (6)
From: [personal profile] infiniteviking
*that icon always = LOL* I firmly believe in a cosmic sense of humor, but not a cruel one.... even though it can feel like it sometimes. It's... like math. XDDDD Aggravating mainly because it's hard to see how it makes sense, even though it ultimately does.

Heartbreaking it is. T_T Although the effort that you put in to something like that, whether or not it falls through, is worthwhile for its own sake. It's only lost if you regret and disclaim the actions you took. Sometimes one should regret doing something they knew inside wouldn't work out, but one shouldn't regret honest efforts that didn't pay off. Hard work and sincerity are something that nobody can take away from you: you can be proud of your efforts, no matter what happens in the end.

;_;!! YES. I would go too if I were able to meet the requirements. \o7


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