Apr. 7th, 2004

Good day...

Apr. 7th, 2004 04:00 pm
ichibandasai: (yep...the flaming rose avatar)

Today is simple.

 I have gotten my computer back...for those that are lacking...as the story goes, I was working on a project one night (until morning, actually), and just as I completed it, it shut itself down and never restarted.

 The whole time, I have been using my father's laptop...for nearly a month now, since...This occured right before he came back from Trinidad, and I borrowed the laptop, he went to Jamaica to attend my great-grandfather's funeral (Goodness, doesn't it seem that someone dies in my family by the minute?)...Ahh...My last living great-grandparent...wait...I still might have hope...I do not know my grandfather...so he might still have some parents left that I don't know about ^_^ lol

Anyway, I am on Spring Break...thank goodness...and I did not atten school Friday, Tuesday, nor Wednesday of last week due to illness. Had quite a terrible cold...I might have missed almost a month's worth of school...Not that I care, anyway...as long as I am getting those A's... 

Well, I just missed my therapy session. Again.  I really needed it this time, too...my knee has been bothering me (not the one that got jacked up during the accident)...My sleep pattern has been completely...wow...I cannot find a word in which so describes it..."screwed", maybe?

Another flower has been blossoming in my garden of thought...I will not mention who...
If only I can expunge the weed in which so badly consumes my love...the one that I actually have my heart set on now...although, seeming...a weed such as he has only earned that status since he drains my heart rather than nourishes it...He knows I feel strongly of him, but he never acknowledges it for some reason...
But...when will it ever occur to that blind bastard that I may love him..

Well, let the bird fly away...if he comes back, he yours...but doesn't look like he's flying any where in my direction...so screw it...easy as pie...no frustration (anymore, anyway)..and on to round 2...I'll be looking forward to seeing the other person later...Just thank goodness none of them would read this :-P lol



I assume...I am destined to be alone.  I have no siblings, I live with one parent, and I have really no close connection with any of my family members.  *Shrugs* I should be able to live with that...true?

 

On the other hand, pass the soap, because I am not a radio.

Hmm...

Apr. 7th, 2004 05:20 pm
ichibandasai: (yep...the flaming rose avatar)

I uncovered this personality description that I had hidden on my computer for quite awhile under the filename of "mood".

description----

********, (Place where my real name was)
 
You are feeling really miserable at this time and you'd like to form a relationship with someone with whom you could really communicate. At the same time, whoever it may be, that special 'someone' must not conflict with your own belief system or ideals. This makes for tough going - but it would seem that the situation is only transitory. It will soon pass.

You are experiencing considerable difficulty trying to achieve your goals. As a consequence of this you are becoming more and more irritable. Your friends and acquaintances are finding it increasingly more difficult to appease or to reason with you. You are the cause of your own problems. Don't be so impulsive. It is your vacillation that can lead to problems and uncertainties. Ease up a little.

It is amazing that you yourself believe that old 'adage' that you are a misunderstood person - and you feel that because of this you are being left out in the cold. It is because of this lack of believed understanding that you feel the need to conform to society in general - but this situation leaves you 'cold' knowing that you are not appreciated for your true self. Any relationship that you are developing at this time does not seem to involve any true emotional commitment, you seem to be just playing along.

You pretend that you are a carefree individual and that nothing really bothers you - that you are so self-sufficient that whatever problems beset you they simply flow off you as water flows off a ducks back. You are experiencing considerable stress, trying to conceal yourself from the rest of the world. In actual fact - deep down, you are not at all happy. You feel lonely and you need someone with whom you can 'Let your hair down' and share your hopes, dreams and high standards. You are imposing unnecessary self restraint on yourself. You would like to demonstrate the unique quality of your character to all and sundry.

Sometimes one fears that its not worth formulating new ideas and projects because whatever you seem to have done in the past has never worked out and you are tired of, as they say, banging your head against a brick wall. No one seems to care. So now you are trying to get away from it all by withdrawing into a 'fantasy land' but unfortunately 'fantasy land' is just that and sooner or later you will have to return to reality so why delay the inevitable? When you do return, you will find that the situation is not as tough as perhaps you thought it was.

Blah, Blah, Blah, and so my head hits the ceiling.

 

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ichibandasai

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